Do You Focus On Success?
Do you focus on failure or lean into success?
There are all kinds of data to support the notion that failure is an important and necessary learning tool. History is filled with stories from the Wright brothers to Thomas Edison of mistake-filled processes along the road to life-changing inventions and discoveries. Organizations that hold innovation as central to their mission work to create a culture where it is safe to take risks, make mistakes, and fail.
Having the camaraderie of colleagues focused on the same trial-and-error approach to creating an innovative process or product, and celebrating the mistakes along the way, is an awesome experience. The challenge is that even for those fortunate enough to work within an innovation driven culture, we live our day-to-day lives with the narrative that exists in our own heads. That mental dialog is often at odds with the notion that mistakes should be celebrated.
When you think about where you are and where you want to be – are you celebrating learning from your mistakes? Based on the number of people I talk with on a regular basis about their careers, leadership and life journeys, failure is the fertilizer for mental rumination while success is minimized to the far corners of our consciousness. This imbalance of focus on failure vs. success serves little value for most of us. It often hinders our ability to reach our goals and robs us of the joy, satisfaction, and appreciation for strengths and capacities we have to offer.
In many ways, we have become a society filled with celebrating people’s failures. We relish the reporting of misspoken words, moments of judgment lapses and goals not realized by celebrities, athletes, and politicians. We give far greater focus to the missteps, not as opportunities to learn, but as indicators of true capacities. Going about our day-to-day lives, it is impossible to escape the significance we place on not achieving compared to the celebration of the things that may have gone right along the way.
Being aware of this tendency to focus on what wasn’t is the first step in moving from a failure mindset to a success mindset. When you think back at the end of a day or a week, what are the top three things your mind goes to? Do you look at success or failure? Become thoughtful about where your mind travels and then either take it to where it should be or build on the positive foundation you have recognized. Find your wins. When faced with a larger challenge, focus on where you have succeeded in the past. What are the qualities about you that enabled that success? It wasn’t luck or good fortune. Those things may have been a part of it but understanding what to do when an opportunity presents itself requires skills. Lean into what worked. Even in situations that were not perfect, there were successes. Find them, understand what made them work, and nurture them. Don’t just copy them - expand them, tweak them, improve them but use them as evidence for success.
Focusing on success boosts confidence. It reminds us we are capable. Analyzing success helps us to understand what we are good at and enables us to leverage our strengths in pursuit of our goals. Most importantly, focusing on success creates a positive mindset. A positive mindset reduces anxiety and enables a learner’s mindset. It creates a mental environment where we have the courage to try new things, be open to new ideas and identify where we need to improve.
Perhaps it is the optimism of Ted Lasso that has created the need to remind myself and those around me, that success and affirmation are far more powerful motivators than ruminating and negativity. That does not mean we ignore the things we need to do better. It does mean that realistic optimism remains one of the most compelling qualities in strong leaders and happy people.
Stay well,
P
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